For many people, the holidays represent a time of joy and hope. For others, the season may bring memories of a very difficult time or loss in their lives. You may have heard of or identify with the holiday blues: situations that arise during the holidays that can cause people to feel sad.
Christmas, end-of-year celebrations, traditions, and social time with family and friends can create situations of real struggle in the hearts of many, especially in the presence of the loss of a loved one.
How can we compassionately care for ourselves during these times? Here a few ideas that might help and support you:
1. Acknowledge that it’s important to take care of yourself. Try to prioritize and do things that help you feel better. For example, if walking helps you have more clarity and find ease, take the time to walk. Even if it is just a short walk, once you have done it, rejoice in the fact that you just walked for self-care. Other activities might include reading a book or simply having the time and space to grieve.
2. Create a short list of things you need to do. Ask a friend or family member to help you with pending tasks at home. It’s okay to ask for help. Remember, you have friends and family members who love you and are willing to step in to assist you.
3. It’s also okay to say no. You may get invitations to attend different social events during the holidays. Find balance. Seek constructive ways of being with others and stay near those who support you. Surround yourself with people who love you and bring positivity in your life.
4. Allow love in your life. Friends may want to bring you food or invite you to dinner, bring you flowers to cheer you up, give you beautiful cards, and invite you to enjoy a cup of tea with them. Receive any gift with great love as they are gestures of kindness. Sometimes, we close ourselves off too much and don’t allow others to come into our lives. It’s ok to receive love and feel loved. We all need it.
Once the holidays are over, consider new possibilities for the year ahead. Take a new class, learn something new, or set a goal to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Consider joining a meditation group and starting a mindfulness practice. Learn about the multiple benefits of self-compassion to improve quality of life and sustain positive emotions. It’s very important to always take care and be gentle with yourself. Rejoice with gratitude on the opportunity of a new day.
No matter where life takes us, compassion allows us to open our hearts, be present when suffering arises, and find joy each day.